New Life, New Love

It’s been 5 whole months since I’ve updated this blog because I now have a 5 month old baby! What a major life change! Everyone says it’s the hardest but most rewarding thing you will ever do, and as cliche as it is, it’s true! I’ve never been more exhausted in my life while feeling my heart so full at the same time. This is our Rockwell Don at 5 months old!

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He is so smiley, he loves to play and giggle and have his naked time (I swear he’ll be a nudist when he grows up)! He was 10 days overdue and I had to be induced because he just had no interest in coming out, he hadn’t dropped, no dilation – he was at home sweet home in there! Those last couple weeks I was totally miserable! So big, so uncomfortable, so irritable – just a real pleasure to be around!

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He was finally born on November 14, 2016 after 11 hours of labour and 25 minutes of pushing (not bad!) at 8lbs 10oz and 21 inches. He was strong and healthy with ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes and a nose as my husband would say! The first couple nights home were a real challenge, I was not prepared for the constant waking, but he was overall a great sleeper and eater.

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I am an enormous control freak and love a good schedule and routine, the first three months were probably the hardest of my life. You can plan and organize all you want but  ultimately your baby is going to do what they want in those early days. I shed lots of tears but also lots of smiles!

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He’s experienced a lot of firsts these last few months, 1st Christmas, plane ride, Easter, laugh, first trip to the driving range, bath, swimming lesson and the list goes on and on!

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Christmas in Osoyoos

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First shots (more upsetting for me than him!), first Valentine’s Day, first purees, first roll overs and first toys. We love going for walks when it’s nice out, swimming, meeting friends for coffee and having breakfast together as a family.

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I’d say our biggest challenge has been naps, god damn it those naps! He’s a social boy and doesn’t seem to want to miss out so getting long naps out of him has been a major struggle, naps are my everest and I will conquer them! Although there is so much advice and information out there, there is also a ton of judgement and ideas that may not work for my baby and my family. Realizing that not one size fits all babies is hard for me, if I work at something I expect it to start working for me too! Some days I feel so frustrated and drained but then Rockwell will see me and smile and it makes it all worth it. It’s so nice to have friends having babies at the same time who can commiserate or come up with new ideas and plans, support is so vital! It’s crazy to me that he is 5 months already and he has changed so much. I have to remind myself to enjoy all these baby times and milestones because one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be in junior high and way too cool for me!

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He’s so cute I could die!

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Oh Baby Baby

It’s time for baby talk! Am I ready to become this chic chic Mom? Strolling around the city like a hot babe with a babe?

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As soon as I got married the baby questions started coming. When are you going to have a baby? Do you want a family? The pressure is on! Plus my Mom has major Grandma fever! I definitely want kids and so does Ryan and we’re at that time in our lives when our friends start having babies on purpose! How do you know if it’s “the right time?” Everyone tells me there is no “right time” and that there is always some reason or issue as to why you shouldn’t have kids. When I am around my friends babies I really feel my clock ticking, but when I am at Costco and I see a harried Mom with three kids who are all screaming and going wild, I want to run away as fast as possible.

When I see the sweet baby faces and cuddle my boyfriend James (the 7 month old Casanova) I want a baby! How can I resist sweet faces like this….

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Ryan and I have certain goals we want to achieve before babies though. Sometimes I feel like that’s totally selfish, but it may make me a better Mother in the long run as well. We want to buy a bigger house with a great yard, new cars for us both and we want to go to France and Greece before babies are on the scene. When those things are all accomplished will there be a new set of goals to achieve before baby? Sometimes you hear about people who try and try and plan for a baby and it doesn’t happen. What if we keep putting it off in order to do other things and it becomes too late?

I am already thirty and I know that when you hit thirty five pregnancy gets a lot riskier. In fact, when a woman gets pregnant at 35 or higher she is classified as a “high risk pregnancy.” There is a higher risk for gestational diabetes, larger chance of you baby having down syndrome, and a greater possibility of having placenta previa (the placenta grows near the cervix and causes bleeding). Those things scare me. At the same time I live a very healthy life, eat healthy and exercise 6 days a week. I feel like I have a good oven to cook up a baby in there! If we start trying at 33 what if it takes until 35 and then I’m having my second one at almost 40? That’s too late for me. Plus Ryan has this delusion that we are going to have a bunch of kids, like 4-6 (HA!), but I would be completely thrilled with 2 healthy children. Sometimes I think I would be fine with one, but I would die without my sister so I think it will end up being two.

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Ryan says we have a three year baby plan. I know if I got pregnant now it would be such a blessing and we would be happy to welcome a little angel. But I am wildly self centered right now. I want to travel, go to Vegas any random weekend I want, shop for ME, work on my body and fitness, go for wine…the list goes on. I think no matter what there is no “right time” for baby. I know I want to be a Mom for sure one day, but I don’t know if the day to start trying is quite here. I think we’ll be in husband and wife mode for a while. We also have some financial goal posts for before we get in baby time, and apparently we have to start “saving.” What is this saving thing people keep talking about?

Looks like I’m starting to accept our three year plan. I better stop looking at these pictures of these adorable little baby faces because it gives me the fever! They’re so precious! I just want to kiss their cheeks and cuddle all day! Still, I think for the next couple years for these newlyweds it will be… HELLO PARIS!

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